I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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