there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
