okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
