Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
