I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
