But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
