What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize