I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
