First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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