I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Actions speak louder than pants.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
