I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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