He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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