Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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