he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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