He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
