just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
