Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize