i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
