She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
