I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
