I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
