I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
