i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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