drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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