I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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