Sponge bath it is.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
