shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize