I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
