she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
