Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
