Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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