i think i have two assholes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
