your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
