He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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