Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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