Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
