Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
