I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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