yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
