i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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