There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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