I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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