You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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