We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
