lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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