I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
