I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
