based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
