my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
