In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
