He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
