I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
