My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Still dying that you shit outside
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
