What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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