I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
