i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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